David Crary’s article, “For Same-sex Couples, a Patchwork of Marriage Laws” highlights the importance of preparing legal documents to protect your wishes and loved ones, especially if you are in a same-sex relationship. Marriage laws for same-sex couples vary from state to state, county by county, without any legal documents it will be harder to protect your wishes such as direct who you want to visit you in the hospital in case of an emergency; name a specific person to make health care decisions for you when you can’t make them for yourself or state the medical treatments you desire in times of a crisis.

Estate planning is an opportunity to protect your wishes and loved ones - LegalOut provides you with affordable solutions to start your estate plan - get started now for a piece of mind!

For Same-sex Couples, a Patchwork of Marriage Laws

By DAVID CRARY
The Associated Press
Monday, May 10, 2010; 12:00 AM

PHILADELPHIA — When government forms inquire of her marital status, Isabelle Barker sometimes resorts to an asterisk and an explanatory note.

She and her wife, Cara Palladino, got married five years ago in Massachusetts. Six months later, for job reasons, they moved to Pennsylvania - one of the majority of states that do not recognize same-sex marriages.

Hence the asterisk.

“I’m not single. I’m married in Massachusetts, but I’m not married in Pennsylvania, I’m not married in the eyes of the federal government,” she said. “It’s this weird limbo, this legal netherworld.”

Pictured left: Cara Palladino (left) and Isabelle Barker (Matt Slocum/ Associated Press).

Barker and Palladino, and their 15-month-old son, Will, have plenty of company across the United States as gay and lesbian couples confront an unprecedented and often confusing patchwork of marriage laws.

Historically, such laws have been the jurisdiction of the states, not the federal government, and the common practice throughout U.S. history has been for any given state to recognize a marriage performed legally in another state.

The advent of same-sex marriage in 2004 has changed all that.

Five states - Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, New Hampshire and Iowa - and the District of Columbia have legalized same-sex marriage. New York and Maryland recognize those marriages even though same-sex couples can’t wed within their borders. California had legal same-sex marriage for about five months in 2008.

However, the federal government doesn’t recognize same-sex marriage, nor do the vast majority of states, including Pennsylvania. Even with a valid out-of-state marriage license, gay and lesbian couples in those states face uncertainty, extra legal bills and inevitable rebuffs that straight couples avoid.

Barker and Palladino, who began dating in 1998, moved from New York to Massachusetts in 2004 and married in February 2005 in a low-key ceremony at a Northampton coffee shop.

They had previously exchanged commitment rings - the chief motive for marrying was to obtain health insurance for Barker through Palladino’s job at the University of Massachusetts.

Later in 2005, Barker’s own academic job ended and she was offered a postdoctoral fellowship at Bryn Mawr College outside Philadelphia. The couple decided to move, though they knew there’d be drawbacks.

“In Massachusetts, people understood what our relationship was,” Palladino said. “I miss being able to say, ‘Oh, we’re married’ and not having to explain it any further.”

Barker elaborated.

“When you’re in Pennsylvania, you’re constantly having to wonder, “Do they get this? Do they not get this?’” she said. “You get these looks of befuddlement.”

Day to day, there’s plenty of support from friends, neighbors and employers - Barker coordinates summer programs at Bryn Mawr, Palladino is a fundraiser at the University of Pennsylvania. They feel comfortable in their diverse Philadelphia neighborhood, Mount Airy, and send Will to a day-care center patronized by several other lesbian couples.

But frustration was evident as they told of the hoops they had to jump through, at extra cost, to amass legal documents they wouldn’t have needed in Massachusetts - including a second-parent adoption giving Palladino parental rights along with Barker, who is Will’s biological mother.

At their lawyer’s advice, the two women have stored their legal forms on flash drives that they carry constantly.

“We’re 12 years into our relationship,” Palladino said. “I’d just like to know when we’re done proving it over and over. … To have to work harder and save harder to make up for what everybody else gets just as an entitlement does really make me angry.”

Same-sex couples in non-recognition states received a modest boost from President Obama in April, when he ordered new rules providing such couples with visitation and medical decision-making rights in any hospital participating in Medicaid or Medicare.

Evan Wolfson, who heads the advocacy group Freedom to Marry, called the directive “a small, but welcome step forward.”

“Of course, the real cure is to end exclusion from marriage,” Wolfson added. “Piecemeal steps, addressing one protection at a time, will take up a lot more time than either the administration or American families can afford.”

Wolfson says the current patchwork not only discriminates against gay families, but also causes headaches for employers who have to consider the diverse laws as they weigh transfers of employees with same-sex partners.

Gay and lesbian couples who turn to the courts when they break up are getting mixed results in non-recognition states. Judges in Oklahoma and Pennsylvania recently denied divorces to same-sex couples who had married in Canada and Massachusetts, while New York and New Jersey have granted such divorces even though they don’t allow same-sex marriage.

In Texas, Attorney General Greg Abbott is appealing the decisions of judges in Dallas and Austin to grant same-sex divorces. In Arizona, some lawyers have succeeded in getting out-of-state same-sex marriages annulled on grounds they were never legal under state law in the first place.

The Alliance Defense Fund, a conservative legal group, represented the speaker of the Oklahoma House of Representatives in a recent unsuccessful lawsuit by a woman who’d had a same-sex wedding in Canada and sought to divorce in Oklahoma.

“The government cannot issue a divorce for a marriage it doesn’t recognize,” said ADF senior legal counsel Austin Nimocks.

The uneven legal landscape poses daunting challenges for lawyers who work with same-sex couples - not only on divorces but also on estate planning, parental rights and other matters.

“It seems like every state has a different law,” said Phoenix lawyer Kathy Gummere. “We have people who are married in some states and not married in others, which, in this day and age of everybody moving around all the time, is ludicrous.”

For some couples, among the most galling problems is trying ensure that both are legally recognized as parents of their children. Many states allow second-parent adoption for same-sex couples, which addresses this situation, but many other states do not.

That’s been a problem for Cari Searcy and Kim McKeand of Mobile, Ala. They married in California in September 2008 during the brief period before same-sex marriages were banned there by a ballot measure, Proposition 8.

It was a whirlwind wedding trip, and the couple promptly returned to Alabama - a state unlikely to recognize same-sex unions without some sort of federal mandate that for now seems far away.

Even with a marriage license, Searcy has been unable to complete a second-parent adoption and is not recognized by Alabama as a legal parent of the couple’s son, Khaya, whom McKeand gave birth to in 2006. Yet despite that rebuff, there’s no talk of moving out.

“We’re from the South - this is our home,” Searcy said. “If everybody moves to states that recognize, it, how are we going to change?”

Day to day in Mobile, there’s little practical benefit to being married, Searcy said, though she and McKeand enjoy referring to each other as “my wife.”

“One of the biggest things - now that Khaya is talking - he’s constantly going around telling people, ‘My mommies are married,’” Searcy said. “He’s really proud of that. Seeing that through his eyes, that’s pretty special.”

Carrington Mead, a lesbian attorney from Jacksonville, Fla., struggles with the complex array of laws both in her practice and in private life. She considers herself married, based on a civil union obtained in Vermont in 2008 - but Florida doesn’t recognize the relationship.

“I feel I’m beating my head against the wall,” said Mead, a Navy veteran. “It’s frustrating to be an officer of the court, charged with upholding the law, and sit there realizing you have fewer rights than the people you’re serving.”

Attorney Tiffany Palmer counsels gay and lesbian couples in Philadelphia, helping them sort through the array of legal protections they might need in a state that doesn’t recognize their unions.

When clients raise the possibility of an out-of-state marriage, “I often advise them, it’s probably better that they don’t,” Palmer said.

“But there are so many things attached to marriage beyond legal conditions,” she said. “They go forward anyway, even though it’s not necessarily an easy path.”

Indeed, Palmer and her partner of 10 years plan to ignore the legal cautions themselves and get married July 4 in Vermont. Their 3-year-old daughter will be the flower girl.

“She’s starting to learn and understand what marriage is,” Palmer said. “Now she knows that two adults who love each other, even if they’re two women or two men, can get married.”

Unlike Alabama, Pennsylvania is receptive to second-parent adoptions, so same-sex couples can fairly readily establish that both are legal parents of any children they have.

Tracy and Mia Levesque, Philadelphians who got married in Canada in 2003, said the marriage license helped speed a second-parent adoption after the birth of their 3-year-old daughter, Josephine - with the judge seeing no need for detailed questions about their relationship.

On other fronts, though, lack of marriage recognition can be grating - for example, when they file separate tax forms, with separate deductions, despite raising a daughter together and jointly owning a website design firm.

“It’s ridiculous,” Tracy Levesque said.

Another Philadelphia couple, Gisele Pinck and Kathy Coyle, has been going through tri-state legal gyrations.

They own a house in Massachusetts, where they married in 2004 and still spend the summers. They work and pay taxes in Pennsylvania, which won’t let them file jointly. And last year, they decided that Pinck would give birth to their son in New Jersey because that state’s laws - unlike Pennsylvania’s - allowed them both to be listed as parents on the original birth certificate.

They still felt a need to spend roughly $2,500 for Coyle to go through a second-parent adoption in Pennsylvania so she’d have parental rights there.

“In some ways that doesn’t seem fair,” Pinck said.

On the other hand, Pinck and Coyle say their employer, a Quaker secondary school, fully supports their relationship. That’s a trend nationwide, as more employers respect the marital status of gay and lesbian workers even if state governments don’t.

In Lawrence, Kan., Dave Greenbaum and Mike Silverman say there are upsides and downsides to being husbands in a state which voted by a 70 percent majority in 2005 to ban recognition of any same-sex union.

They got married in California in 2008 but never seriously considered abandoning Lawrence, where Greenbaum runs a computer business.

“Even in a state like Kansas, unless someone is a complete bigot, they’re going to respect the intent behind the marriage license even if they can’t officially recognize it,” Silverman said.

Then there’s the nomenclature benefit.

“Until our marriage, I’d get semi-awkward questions from people - ‘What do you call Mike? Your partner? Your spouse?’” Greenbaum said. “Now it’s easier for family and friends. ‘OK, he’s your husband.’ It’s a framework that everyone understands.”

But the acceptance doesn’t carry over to tax season.

“Any time you’re filling out a tax form, you have to lie by declaring yourself single even though you’re married, so you don’t get in trouble with the government,” Silverman said.

Jennifer Pizer, marriage project director for the national gay-rights group Lambda Legal, says attitudes and laws affecting same-sex couples vary widely across the country - generating an evolving flow of “incredibly interesting legal questions.”

If a married same-sex couple wants to move to a non-recognition state, “it’s important to do everything they can do, with private legal documents and commitments from employers, to protect their families,” she said.

“It’s going to keep happening. People don’t decide whether to walk down the aisle or not based on the intricacies of interstate family recognition.”

—

On the Net:

Visit the Task Force to learn about State Laws Prohibiting Recognition of Same-Sex Relationships

Create a Basic Estate Plan:

At a minimum, any basic estate plan should include the following documents (click the link to learn more about the document):

• Hospital Visitation Authorization
• Living Will
• Health Care Power of Attorney
• Last Will and Testament
• Power of Attorney

Safeguard your relationship, secure your financial, property and health care rights by taking action now with LegalOut’s estate planning legal documents.

President Obama signed a memorandum that aims to protect the hospital visitation and healthcare decision-making rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people.

The memorandum directs the Secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS) to enact regulations that require all hospitals receiving federal Medicare and Medicaid funding to comply with a patient’s right to determine who may visit them, and to prevent hospitals from discriminating based on sexual orientation and gender identity, as well as all federally protected classes.

In addition, the memorandum calls on the Secretary to issue new guidance and provide technical assistance to hospitals to help them comply with existing federal regulations that require them to respect individuals’ advanced healthcare directives and other documents establishing who should make healthcare decisions for them when they are unable to do so. This is an important directive, as it will help reinforce the current law that, if a same-sex spouse has been granted power of attorney or has been designated by the patient as having visitor rights, such rights must be respected.

The memorandum is a positive step forward to protect LGBT families, however, it’s important to note the LGBT community still needs to take proactive steps to ensure that the people we choose may visit us and make medical decisions on our behalf in times of emergency by creating the necessary legal documents that must be respected by hospital staff.

Without any legal documents it will be harder to protect your wishes and be able to direct who you want to visit you in the hospital in case of an emergency.

LegalOut provides the following legal documents to help you protect your wishes. For more information visit LegalOut - Protection 101 or click on the legal documents below for more details:

• Living Will
• Will
• Advance Health Care Directives
• Hospital Visitation
• Power of Attorney
• Domestic Partnership Agreement
  

Here is the full text of the memorandum:

Presidential Memorandum - Hospital Visitation

MEMORANDUM FOR THE SECRETARY OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES

SUBJECT: Respecting the Rights of Hospital Patients to Receive Visitors and to Designate Surrogate Decision Makers for Medical Emergencies

There are few moments in our lives that call for greater compassion and companionship than when a loved one is admitted to the hospital. In these hours of need and moments of pain and anxiety, all of us would hope to have a hand to hold, a shoulder on which to lean — a loved one to be there for us, as we would be there for them.

Yet every day, all across America, patients are denied the kindnesses and caring of a loved one at their sides — whether in a sudden medical emergency or a prolonged hospital stay. Often, a widow or widower with no children is denied the support and comfort of a good friend. Members of religious orders are sometimes unable to choose someone other than an immediate family member to visit them and make medical decisions on their behalf. Also uniquely affected are gay and lesbian Americans who are often barred from the bedsides of the partners with whom they may have spent decades of their lives — unable to be there for the person they love, and unable to act as a legal surrogate if their partner is incapacitated.

For all of these Americans, the failure to have their wishes respected concerning who may visit them or make medical decisions on their behalf has real consequences. It means that doctors and nurses do not always have the best information about patients’ medications and medical histories and that friends and certain family members are unable to serve as intermediaries to help communicate patients’ needs. It means that a stressful and at times terrifying experience for patients is senselessly compounded by indignity and unfairness. And it means that all too often, people are made to suffer or even to pass away alone, denied the comfort of companionship in their final moments while a loved one is left worrying and pacing down the hall.

Many States have taken steps to try to put an end to these problems. North Carolina recently amended its Patients’ Bill of Rights to give each patient “the right to designate visitors who shall receive the same visitation privileges as the patient’s immediate family members, regardless of whether the visitors are legally related to the patient” — a right that applies in every hospital in the State. Delaware, Nebraska, and Minnesota have adopted similar laws.

My Administration can expand on these important steps to ensure that patients can receive compassionate care and equal treatment during their hospital stays. By this memorandum, I request that you take the following steps:

1. Initiate appropriate rulemaking, pursuant to your authority under 42 U.S.C. 1395x and other relevant provisions of law, to ensure that hospitals that participate in Medicare or Medicaid respect the rights of patients to designate visitors. It should be made clear that designated visitors, including individuals designated by legally valid advance directives (such as durable powers of attorney and health care proxies), should enjoy visitation privileges that are no more restrictive than those that immediate family members enjoy. You should also provide that participating hospitals may not deny visitation privileges on the basis of race, color, national

origin, religion, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability. The rulemaking should take into account the need for hospitals to restrict visitation in medically appropriate circumstances as well as the clinical decisions that medical professionals make about a patient’s care or treatment.

2. Ensure that all hospitals participating in Medicare or Medicaid are in full compliance with regulations, codified at 42 CFR 482.13 and 42 CFR 489.102(a), promulgated to guarantee that all patients’ advance directives, such as durable powers of attorney and health care proxies, are respected, and that patients’ representatives otherwise have the right to make informed decisions regarding patients’ care. Additionally, I request that you issue new guidelines, pursuant to your authority under 42 U.S.C. 1395cc and other relevant provisions of law, and provide technical assistance on how hospitals participating in Medicare or Medicaid can best comply with the regulations and take any additional appropriate measures to fully enforce the regulations.

3. Provide additional recommendations to me, within 180 days of the date of this memorandum, on actions the Department of Health and Human Services can take to address hospital visitation, medical decision making, or other health care issues that affect LGBT patients and their families.

This memorandum is not intended to, and does not, create any right or benefit, substantive or procedural, enforceable at law or in equity by any party against the United States, its departments, agencies, or entities, its officers, employees, or agents, or any other person.

You are hereby authorized and directed to publish this memorandum in the Federal Register.

BARACK OBAMA

No matter where you are in life, you’ll always benefit from taking control and being proactive about advance legal planning. Plus, there’s never a wrong time to start planning your estate. Even if you don’t have a partner, you can designate the person you trust most to be your beneficiary and act as your agent in times of crisis.

Christine, a single lesbian started thinking about the importance of preparing a will and other estate planning legal documents after a frightening accident that left her briefly unconscious. Up until the accident, like many, Christine never thought about planning for times of personal crisis such as illness, accidents, or even death. As a single person, with minimal possessions and did not own property, Christine did not think there was a need for any legal documents.

Christine caught a bad case of the flu, she became weak and dehydrated which led to Christine passing out in her bathroom. Before she fell to the floor, she unfortunately hit her head on the washer, dryer and wall. Christine briefly passed out and when she woke up found that she cut herself above her eye.

Christine went to the emergency room and fortunately only sustained a few bruises and was released the same day. During this time, Christine wondered, what would have happened had she remained unconscious:

• who would know what type of medical decisions she desired?
• would her family know what type of medical treatment she wanted?
• would her favorite possessions be distributed to the people she cared for in case she passed away?
• would people know her favorite charity to donate money?

Christine knew that in order for all these questions to be answered and ensure her wishes would be carried out in case something happened to her she needed legal documents.

LegalOut thanks Christine for sharing her story.

If you die without a will, your State’s law will determine what happens to your property in a process called intestate succession. Without health care legal documents your medical wishes will be determined by some one else.

Learn how a basic estate plan can help you take control of your wishes.

Basic Estate Planning will help you:

• Remember friends. If you’re single, you may wish to leave property who have rewarded you with friendship.
• Name a specific person to make health care decisions for you when you can’t make them for yourself.
• Plan for surgery or hospitalization.
• Assist your loved ones with difficult decisions.
• State your wishes so that it is more likely that they will be carried out.

Estate planning is an opportunity to protect your wishes and loved ones - LegalOut provides you with affordable solutions to start your estate plan - get started now for a piece of mind!

Create a Basic Estate Plan:

At a minimum, any basic estate plan should include the following documents (click the link to learn more about the document):

• Hospital Visitation Authorization
• Living Will
• Health Care Power of Attorney
• Last Will and Testament
• Power of Attorney

Safeguard your relationship, secure your financial, property and health care rights by taking action now with LegalOut’s estate planning legal documents.

No one likes to think about times of personal crisis such as illness, accidents, or even death. But such planning is essential for gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and transgender individuals and couples, whose basic civil rights, depending on state legislation, can be severely restricted.

Many of us put off estate planning for one reason or another. We know we need to do something, but we wait. We defer making a decision.

Why do we put off estate planning?

Some reasons may be:

• lack of time
• budget concerns
• not knowing exactly what we need
• we don’t want thing about death or crisis situations

But estate planning doesn’t have to be complicated at all. Estate planning is really about taking control over your own life and legacy and providing for who and what you love.

Not planning, means letting someone else plan for you. LGBT individuals need to be proactive to ensure that their plans for the future reflect their own wishes and are not dictated by laws that do not fit your life and relationships or individuals who are not involved in your life and relationships.

Estate planning is an opportunity to protect your wishes and loved ones - LegalOut provides you with affordable solutions to start your estate plan - get started now for a piece of mind!

How does LegalOut work?

It only takes three easy steps to safeguard your rights:

1. Select the documents that are right for you.

2. Review your documents using our simple online tools.

3. Finalize your documents. We’ll give you clear instructions at every step of the way.

Create a Basic Estate Plan:

At a minimum, any basic estate plan should include the following documents (click the link to learn more about the document):

• Hospital Visitation Authorization
• Living Will
• Health Care Power of Attorney
• Last Will and Testament
• Power of Attorney

Safeguard your relationship, secure your financial, property and health care rights by taking action now with LegalOut’s estate planning legal documents.

Joy and her partner, Beth, were together for six years living in Decatur, Georgia sharing everything from home, a business and expenses. In a tragic accident Beth passed away.

Beth fell off a ladder and was unconscious by the time she made it to the hospital, unable to communicate her wishes to family members. Joy was told to leave the hospital room because it was time for family members to make decisions about Beth’s care.

Since Joy and her partner did not have any legal documents, Joy had no legal rights to make any decisions on behalf of her partner. Joy was not allowed to visit Beth, since many states only allow legal spouses or family members - not lifelong partners. Beth’s family highly disapproved of her relationship with Joy and told the hospital staff not to admit Joy.

Joy was finally able to visit Beth after she pleaded with Beth’s family for a chance to see her partner of six years. Joy was not allowed to be part of any decision-making regarding Beth’s treatments even though Joy knew Beth’s preference for life-saving procedures, she could not instruct the medical staff, as she had no legal authority.

After Beth passed away, Joy was kicked out of her home. Without a will and Joy’s name was not on the deed, Beth’s family took everything.

If you die without making a valid will, you leave what is known as” intestacy”. Each state has different laws, but follow the same general pattern of how your estate is distributed, first to a legal spouse, children and biological family. The state of Georgia bans same-sex couple marriage. According to Georgia’s law, Joy’s relationship to Beth was not recognized.

Joy’s message to the LGBT community, “Please get legal documentation to protect your wishes. Families can be the worse and you never know until something bad happens. Losing your partner is hard enough to deal with but not being able to be there in her time of need was devastating. Do not keep putting off preparing legal documents.”

LegalOut, thanks Joy for her courage in talking to us about her experience. Joy is determined to share her experiences with the LGBT community in hopes she can help others avoid the similar situation she faced without legal documents.

If you anticipate a will challenge or hostile family members, you need to take even greater precautions in drafting your will. It is far less expensive, financially and emotionally; to plan now to make sure that your property goes to the people or charities you choose. At a minimum, any basic estate plan should include the following documents: Hospital Visitation Authorization, Living Will, Health Care Power of Attorney, Last Will and Testament, and Power of Attorney.

Who needs legal documents?
Everyone, but especially those in the LGBT community, considering the lack of rights afforded to this group by the state and federal government. In a crisis, it’s difficult to think clearly - making sure these important decisions and wishes are thought out beforehand will provide a valuable source of comfort, instead of stress. Estate planning can be used to create a strong legal structure that defines your wishes.

My state offers some legal protection to same-sex couples. Do I still need legal documents?
Yes, for several reasons. Should you require hospitalization and run into staff unfamiliar with the law, you’ll need your wishes and rights clearly defined in your legal documents. Or suppose you travel across state lines and have a medical emergency that requires hospitalization. The same rights you’re afforded in your own state may not apply there. In addition, because the federal government gives no recognition to same-sex relationships, the more proactive you are in defining your wishes - no matter where you live - the better.

I am single. Do I need legal documents?
Absolutely. No matter where you are in life, you’ll always benefit from taking control and being proactive about your protection. Plus, there’s never a wrong time to start planning your estate. Even if you don’t have a partner, you can designate the person you trust most to be your beneficiary and act as your agent in times of crisis.

I am in a committed gay/lesbian relationship. Do I need legal documents?
Yes. If you are in a committed relationship, you may want your significant other to be able to make medical and legal decisions for you, should you unable to make them yourself. You would like to plan for the future of your family to ensure they are taken care of when you are gone.

At a minimum, any basic estate plan should include the following documents (click the link to learn more about the document):

• Hospital Visitation Authorization
• Living Will
• Health Care Power of Attorney
• Last Will and Testament
• Power of Attorney

How does LegalOut work?
It only takes three easy steps to safeguard your rights:

1. Select the documents that are right for you.
2. Review your documents using our simple online tools.
3. Finalize your documents. We’ll give you clear instructions at every step of the way.

Safeguard your relationship, secure your financial, property and health care rights by taking action now with LegalOut’s estate planning legal documents.

An Advance Health Care Directive allows you to name a specific person to make health care decisions for you when you can’t make them for yourself and provide instructions regarding your wishes and desires for health care, including what treatment is not desired.

Other names for advance health care directive include health care powers of attorney, durable powers of medical attorney, health care proxies and living wills.

An Advance Directive for Health Care or Living Will lets you:

• Name a specific person to make health care decisions for you when you can’t make them for yourself.
• Plan for surgery or hospitalization.
• Assist your loved ones with difficult decisions.
• State your wishes so that it is more likely that they will be carried out.

Ensure your wishes are carried out in case something happens to you. In a time of crisis, the last thing you want is to have your loved ones try to guess your health care wishes.

Create your Advance Health Care Directive now>>

Recently the Human Rights Campaign published the Healthcare Equality Index, an annual survey of healthcare industry policies and practices related to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals and their families. The goals of the HEI are: 1) to benchmark healthcare facilities on identified best practices and policies with respect to equal treatment of LGBT individuals and families; and 2) to share, implement and recognize these best practices with healthcare industry leaders.

To read more about the study and results click here.

Start now, create your Advance Health Care Directive for a peace of mind>>

President Obama discussed the importance of preparing a Living Will at an online forum on health care sponsored by AARP on July 28, 2009:

“The problem is right now most of us don’t give direction to our family members and so when we get really badly sick, sadly enough, nobody is there to make the decisions.

And then the doctor, who doesn’t know what you might have preferred, they’re making decisions, in consultation with your kids or your grandkids, and nobody knows what you would have preferred.

So I think the idea there is to simply make sure that a living will process is easier for people — it doesn’t require you to hire a lawyer or to take up a lot of time.

… But it’s actually a useful tool I think for a lot of families to make sure that if, heaven forbid, you contract a terminal illness, that you are somebody who is able to control this process in a dignified way that is true to your faith and true to how you think that end-of-life process should proceed.

You don’t want somebody else making those decisions for you. So I actually think it’s a good idea to have a living will . I’d encourage everybody to get one. I have one. Michelle has one. And we hope we don’t have to use it for a long time, but I think it’s something that is sensible.” (For full transcript visit the White House Briefing Room)

A Living Will (also known as an Advance Healthcare Directive or just Advance Directive) allows anyone to indicate their wishes concerning the withdrawal or withholding of life-sustaining procedures if they are in a terminal condition with no hope of recovery or are permanently unconscious.

Importance of a Living Will

• Give direction to your family members or partner - in case you get badly sick your family can make decisions based on your preferences in an difficult time.
• Achieve legal and emotional security that a legal document can provide in protecting your interests should something unexpected occur.

Create your Living Will - with our simple online interview.

LegalOut makes it easy to write your Living Will for a peace of mind - this do-it-yourself document is easy, fully customizable and inexpensive to complete.

Guest contributor, Paige Arden Stanley from the Law Office of Paige Arden Stanley L.L.C. and member of LegalOut’s attorney network, discusses the importance of creating a Living Will.

During a recent healthcare forum, President Obama revealed that he and the First Lady each have Living Wills (also called advance healthcare directives) but hoped they would never need to use them. Obama’s speech turned a white-hot White-House spotlight on an important subject that everyone, regardless of age, should think about, discuss and request assistance with preparation. Don’t be like the countless individuals who would prefer ignoring having such an important document, thus leaving it up to others to guess at, or feud about, your wishes and what you might have wanted in terms of life sustaining measures.

What A Living Will Is
Plain and simple: a Living Will is one of the single most important documents that anyone, especially single individuals and unmarried partners (including those in domestic partnerships) can have.

A Living Will is a document that outlines what one’s healthcare preferences are in the event he/she cannot make those communications because of some kind of incapacity, albeit from a brief temporary condition to a long terminal illness. Without a Living Will in place, family members and/or health professionals are left to decide your fate. And, it might not be at all what you would have wanted.

What A Living Will Isn’t
Contrary to popular misconception, a Living Will is not about death or dying. In actuality, it is about someone carrying out your wishes and taking care of you while you are still living, but for whatever reason, you are unable to take care of or make decisions on your own.

Who Should Have a Copy of Your Living Will
Having a Living Will is not enough. Make sure that your doctor, the person you’ve designated as your power(s) of attorney regarding such decisions, and any other immediate family members have copies too.  It is also a good idea to take the Living Will with you when you travel. And, last but not least, if you are going to the hospital, even for what may be a minor procedure, take your Living Will. Read more about your options for legal document storage >>

Questions to Ask
Here are a few of the questions your attorney will ask when assisting in preparing your Living Will.

• Do you have a current Living Will?
• Do your parents?
• Do your siblings?
• Do your friends?
• Do you have any idea how to bring up the topic?
• Who do you want to make decisions for you?
• Do you want artificial life-prolonging measures? Which: Nutrition and hydration? CPR? Under what conditions?
• Where do you prefer to recuperate?
• Do you wish to donate your organs?

For further assistance, please contact Paige Arden Stanley, Esq. at Law Office of Paige Arden Stanley, L.L.C.

Starting a family is an exciting time. There is much to think about, especially if you are in a same-sex partnership - there are medical, legal, financial, and spiritual areas to consider.

It could be an overwhelming process to get started but an educational Web site that makes it easy to access all types of LGBT parenting information is The Rainbow Babies.com, created by Angela Watson.

The Rainbow Babies site provides a central area for general information on the many aspects of LGBT pregnancies and parenting. Watson was inspired to create a site that provides timely information about starting a family whether by insemination, surrogacy, fostering or adoption after listening to her friends talk about their struggles with becoming parents and thought that if they could tell their stories, then other families-to-be could get encouragement and support.

So, in a crazy moment of inspiration, she thought that she would create a website where parents could post their family stories, as well as get timely information on ways to have families, read book and movie reviews related to LGBT families, as well as learn about pertinent legal and social issues related to being LGBT parents in the U.S. today.

Three years later, The Rainbow Babies continues to grow and thrive, currently featuring over 200 pages of nearly all original and exclusive content on every topic dealing with the special challenges of LGBT parenting.

If you have questions regarding donors, insemination process, how to select a sperm bank or interested in reading about LGBT parent stories, The Rainbow Babies provides articles and information for all these areas and more.

Read more LGBT parenting issues at The Rainbow Babies.

LegalOut Note:

If you are planning to start a family, in a long-term committed relationship, ensure your interests are followed should something unexpected occur.  Protect your wishes and family  by preparing legal documents. At minimum, any basic estate plan should include the following documents: Hospital Visitation Authorization, Living Will, Health Care Power of Attorney, Shared Parenting Agreement, Last Will and Testament, Power of Attorney. Protect yourself now - create legal documents.