The LGBT community has seen great strides in equality the past couple of years, with certain states passing marriage equality laws for same-sex couples. However, there is still a federal ban, Defense of Marriage Act, (DOMA), that restricts about 1,138 benefits from same-sex couples and many states do not recognize any form of same-sex couple marriage benefits.

For example, did you know that unless otherwise specified in many states, only legal spouses or family members - not lifelong partners - can visit you in the hospital should you be unconscious? Or that vital decisions like power of attorney can default to a biological family member who doesn’t even know what you wishes are or they may not “agree with” your sexual orientation.

Marriage laws for same-sex couples vary from state to state, county by county, without any legal documents it will be harder to protect your wishes such as direct who you want to visit you in the hospital in case of an emergency; name a specific person to make health care decisions for you when you can’t make them for yourself or state the medical treatments you desire in times of a crisis.

Advance legal planning protects an individual’s right to make their own health care and financial choices and prevents unnecessary suffering for families who may struggle with these decisions later on. It is a proactive process that enables the individual to make decisions about their future, along with family members, health care providers and counsel, prior to their physical and cognitive decline.
If you are in a committed relationship, you may want your significant other to be able to make medical and legal decisions for you, should you unable to make them yourself. You would like to plan for the future of your family to ensure they are taken care of when you are gone.

Even if you are not in a committed relationship, you want to make decisions about your own life and future without unwanted intrusions from others. By planning now you can feel comfortable that you, your family and your future are taken care of exactly the way you envision. Because, unfortunately, LGBT individuals cannot rely state and/or federal laws to take care of them.

At a minimum, any basic estate plan should include the following documents: Hospital Visitation Authorization, Living Will, Health Care Power of Attorney, Last Will and Testament, Power of Attorney, and Domestic Partnership Agreement.

Often times, people put off creating legal documents, we know we need to do something, but we wait. We defer making a decision. Why do we wait? Our reasons are different. Some reasons are:

• lack of time
• budget concerns
• not knowing exactly what we need
• we don’t want think about death or crisis situations
• we don’t want to have the conversation.

But such planning is essential for gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and transgender individuals and couples, whose basic civil rights, depending on state legislation, can be severely restricted. LGBT individuals need to be proactive to ensure that their plans for the future reflect their own wishes and are not dictated by laws that do not fit your life and relationships or individuals who are not involved in your life and relationships. Legal documents can provide you legal and emotional security in the event that something unexpected occurs.

Once you have prepared legal documents, there’s one more essential step that many people don’t think about until there’s an emergency - you need to keep those documents somewhere safe, yet easily accessible. Make sure to give copies to your health care agent, trusted family member, your partner or anyone you trust that should have your directives. It’s also vital to carry them with you, especially if you are traveling throughout the United States or going abroad. In case of an emergency you want to make sure you have your documents on hand to show hospital staff or any other person that may need to see proof of your wishes.

Marriage Recognition:
• State issues marriage licenses to same-sex couples (5 states and the District of Columbia). Connecticut (2008), District of Columbia (2010), Iowa (2009), Massachusetts (2004), New Hampshire (2010) and Vermont (2009).

• State recognizes marriages by same-sex couples legally entered into in another jurisdiction (2 states) Maryland (2010) and New York (2008).

• California had legal same-sex marriage for about five months in 2008.

LegalOut provides you with affordable solutions to start your estate plan - get started now for a piece of mind!

Civil to one another

Fri, Jul 02, 2010

As the Civil Partnership Bill goes through the Dáil, Fiona McCann talks to three couples about how it will affect their relationships

‘We consider ourselves to be as good as married, so we consider this to be almost ticking a box’

Michael Walsh, partner in the law firm BryneWallace, and Des Crowley, doctor, have been together for 12 and a half years. They plan to become civil partners, and have a civil partnership ceremony already organised for later this month, with a blessing in the Unitarian Church followed by a meal and celebration for friends, family, colleagues and business associates.

Des Crowley (left) and Michael Walsh. Photograph: Alan Betson

MICHAEL : We consider ourselves to be as good as married, we consider ourselves to be family . . . so in some respects we consider this to be almost ticking a box. But going through a process of preparing for the Civil Partnership ceremony has been an enlightening experience for us because it actually has brought new definition to our relationship, and brought about a renewed commitment.

DES : Initially, for me anyway, it was about just protecting the legality of the relationship . . . but I have been really surprised how the experience of the last month or six weeks has actually changed that and how much more important it has become to me.

MICHAEL : There have been certain elements of the LGB community who might have rejected the whole notion of civil partnership because it’s not full marriage. And whereas I agree in part with the sentiment that what will be provided for in law doesn’t go far enough, it certainly goes far enough for us to be acceptable, particularly in our own individual circumstances.

DES : Ultimately it is down to the practical issue of our home together, the tax situation, the pension situation, and what is really important for us is our next of kin. Because it’s extraordinary that . . . even though you may be living with a person for 12 years, if anything was to happen to you and you were unable to make your own decision, that the people that they turn to is your parents.

MICHAEL : For me the ceremonial aspect of it is really important, and although we are together 12 years, we haven’t yet stood in front of our nearest and dearest and said ‘this is it’. And to have the opportunity now to do this and for it to also mean something from a legal point of view is fundamental.

DES : While it would have been preferable if the legislation had included the rights for gay parents to adopt, there is an expediency about it as well. If you continue the next five or 10 years fighting for that right, in the meantime so many other situations are not regularised, and some people do not have the luxury of time. They’re unwell, or they’re elderly, and there are a lot of complicated legal issues that need to be sorted out for these couples.

MICHAEL : I’ve been writing to the Minister every fortnight, explaining to him the date of our blessing and how important it is that the Bill would have cleared through the main house of the Oireachtas before our date . . .What is important to us is the certainty that it will happen, so we decided to press the button with the sense that it was effectively a done deal . . .

I’m sure we’ll look back in years to come and wonder why it took so long for the State to finally recognise that it isn’t a bad thing to recognise love between consenting adults and a love that’s about long-term commitment and the creation of family.

‘This Bill is not going to do anything for us, for our family. And legally, our family doesn’t exist’

Orla Egan-Morley and Catherine Egan-Morley have been together for more than eight years, and have a four-year-old son called Jacob. Catherine is director of Southside Travellers Action Group, and Orla is training and development officer with BeLonG To youth services.

ORLA : It should be a day for celebration and I just feel really disappointed that the politicians haven’t had the courage to legislate for equality and take a child-centred approach to the legislation. [This Bill] is not going to do anything for us, for our family. And legally, our family doesn’t exist.

CATHERINE : I feel let down for my son because it doesn’t acknowledge his place; It doesn’t make any reference to his rights to have two parents, which he has . . . It hits me very deeply because I am his non-biological parent. It hits me on an equality level, but it also hits me on a gut level.

ORLA : Jacob asked me recently, “What’s marriage? What’s a wedding?”. And I said, “Sometimes when people love one another very much it’s a ceremony they do to mark that love.” He looked at me and Catherine and said “We all love one another, why can’t we get married?” How do you explain to a four-year-old that there are some people who think your family is not worth protecting? . . . I don’t care about the money stuff; I care about the rights of my child. I could get up in the morning and take him away from one of his parents and neither he nor she would have any right to fight back.

CATHERINE : We’ve been living together for almost eight years. We own our home together. . . it only takes one person to look at the letter of the law, and if I have him in the hospital and he has a broken leg, I won’t be allowed to make any decisions because I’m not his legal parent or guardian. Right now in the eyes of the country we live in, in the place that we’re committed to, where we bought our home and live our lives, Orla is a lone parent and I’m a single woman . . . The most public commitment we could ever make to each other is have a child together.

ORLA : We spent a long time planning to have Jacob . . . we changed our names by deed poll so that we all shared the same surname, Egan-Morley. We made sure we had our wills in order, we took as many legal steps as we could, but the bottom line is that there is no legal relationship there between Jacob and one of his parents . . . We don’t want to go somewhere else to get married and not have that marriage recognised here.

I want to be able to get married, and have Jacob have a formal legal relationship with both of his parents in the country where he lives.

‘The ritual, the declaration, it’s an affirmation. People forget that. Everyone should be entitled to that’

Don McClave and Wil Matthews have been together for seven years. Don is an Apple Mac specialist and technical support operative and Wil is a public servant. They had a Civil Partnership ceremony in Belfast earlier this year.

DON : It was pretty much love at first sight - we moved in together after about six months. We’d both been aware of marriage and civil partnership as a political issue, but around the time we were five years together, we said we’d really like to do this. We decided that if we waited for the pace of legislative progress here, we’d all be dead and buried.

We could have gone to Spain or Canada and gone for a full marriage, but that wasn’t practical for economic reasons, and since such marriages weren’t going to be recognised here - we’d been following the Zappone-Gilligan case - we thought we’d be more realistic about it. Civil partnership in Belfast was doable.

WIL : We went up to lodge our petition to have our Civil Partnership in December, and we had it on the 17th of April . . . We had some family members who were not getting any younger and we wanted them to have the day out, and we wanted to be able to get up in front of our loved ones and make a declaration of love for one another . . . It was a really joyous occasion. And even though we’ve been together seven years, our relationship feels different now.

Even though we’re not recognised here, we’ve no legal standing, to us it just feels different. The ritual, the declaration, it’s an affirmation. People forget that. Everyone should be entitled to that and everyone should be entitled to having that celebration with family and friends. It’s not a gay right; it’s just a fundamental human right.

DON : Every step is progress, and we welcome this Civil Partnership Bill, but even so, it’s not enough. We want marriage: not gay marriage, just marriage for all . . . [with this new Bill] presumably when we can present our certificate and have it recorded and acknowledged, we can look at practical things.

There have been some situations where Wil’s been in hospital and I haven’t been able to go through with him to the A&E procedures. So having that kind of recognition, that would give some measure of protection with a hospital official . . . And in the areas of social welfare, inheritance, next-of-kin rights, immediately we have some kind of status.

WIL : While this bill is fantastic and we do welcome it, we will gain some rights and entitlements, but not all, and we’re very clear about that: there’ll be many that we won’t be entitled to.

DON : They’re picking and choosing where they confer equality, but you can’t have equality where you are creating a separate legal classification for same-sex couples.

© 2010 The Irish Times

Queerly Wed is a new wedding directory geared to the LGBTQ community. Launched in August, 2009, Queerly Wed provides queer-friendly businesses and resources to same-sex couples who are planning their wedding.

As more areas within the United States legalize same-sex marriages (it is legal in currently five states), same-sex couples are in need of a resource to help them find quality and respectful services for their wedding. Regardless of legality, many couples plan the event just the same and they need the same services as any other couple planning their wedding. Queerly Wed actively searches for those businesses to be included in their directory.

“In planning my own wedding, my partner, Stacy, and I saw a need for a service like ours. We want to ensure that couples are treated respectfully and receive the best service they deserve for their big day”, said Melissa Johns, Co-Founder and Director of Advertising and Sales.

In addition to the vendor directory, Queerly Wed also features couples who have already walked down the aisle in a weekly interview, Planning Tips, Relationship Advice, Legal Information and more.

“We have a great team of experts to help same-sex couples find queer-friendly information when planning their big day!” said Stacy Jill Jacobs, Co-Founder and Director of Marketing and Content.

Queerly Wed currently lists queer-friendly wedding vendors throughout the United States, and Canada. The owners plan to include international listings by 2011.

Click here to check out the great folks at Queerly Wed and vendors>>

Keep updated with the Prop 8 Trial.

Liveblogging from Firedoglake: Click here to read more about the Prop 8 Trial.

We are delighted to present the second of several installments featuring the “Brides & Prejudice” series by Kirsten Ott Palladino from The Sunday Paper.

Kirsten is the Life & Food Editor for The Sunday Paper, a popular weekly newspaper. In her “Brides & Prejudice” series she openly shares the happiness and heartbreak that she and her then-fiancée (now wife) experienced in planning a same-sex wedding in Georgia. While reporting from the frontlines, Kirsten also shares advice on wedding-planning topics from wording invitations to floral arrangements. She and her wife recently wed in an intimate ceremony at the Mary Gay House in Decatur.

Choosing a venue, a day and a photographer
:

Planning a gay wedding is no easy feat. Maria and I will tie the knot in June, and we’ve had plenty of hurdles to leap—many of which were outlined in my cover story in the March 15 issue of The Sunday Paper. The first challenge we had to contend with was the where. Deciding the venue is of the utmost importance. It usually determines the when, as well as the theme, if any. We knew we wanted a spring or summer wedding, and we wanted to get married in Atlanta. Because we’re a same-sex couple, choosing some remote setting wasn’t plausible. Our top priority in planning our wedding has always been to find people who will treat us with the decency and respect that we deserve, and that usually means working with vendors inside the Perimeter. Of course, some gay-friendly wedding spots do exist beyond the walls of Atlanta proper.

For example, Serenbe in Palmetto, Ga., offers an extraordinary setting for vow exchanges out in a beautiful meadow overlooking a serene lake. However, Maria and I definitely wanted an in-town affair with close access to a bevy of posh hotels for our guests and very accessible for all of our vendors.

We also wanted metropolitan-minded folks who wouldn’t snub our guests. Since we’re both fans of the arts, we looked at the High Museum of Art as a venue. But we didn’t want to be on display for museum-goers. (You know how people stare at something they don’t see every day.) I’m a bit of a vintage girl, with an appreciation for antiques and history, so we chose an antebellum home just outside of Atlanta, but still within the Perimeter. It’s a smaller venue, perfect for our 75 guests. The home is already decked out in Federal Period furnishings, which sets the theme of romance. And the perfectly proportioned brick patio is ideal for a late spring wedding.

Since the venue is of prime importance for so many other key decisions-you can’t confirm other vendors until this one is settled-we did this first. Our venue had so many open dates when we booked that we had the struggle of having too many Saturdays to choose from. We whittled down the days by conferring with family members. Maria has a niece graduating from high school on June 6, so that was out. Mother’s Day weekend wasn’t ideal, nor was Memorial Day weekend, as so many people travel during that time. April made us choke-much too soon! Early May is my father and stepmother’s wedding anniversary. The end of June is much too hot for me, and I get really cranky in the heat. My late father settled the matter when he picked June 13. I asked him if he didn’t think that was an unlucky date. “Not at all,” he replied. “It’s never unlucky when two people in love get married.”

Yes, lucky in love is how I see Maria and myself. We’ve had the normal challenges any couple faces-gay or straight-but all in all, we’ve gotten through the first five years unscathed. We had a terrific get-to-know-each-other stage-Atlanta really is the perfect place for that, with all its fantastic restaurants. We’ve successfully bought and sold houses together in this rotten housing market. Maria gave me a whirlwind romantic proposal in Central Park. She was-and still is-my rock while I grieve my father. No matter how cheesy it sounds, I proudly admit that she’s my soul mate, through and through.

Hence, it was very important that we hire a photographer who could capture this on film. Gone are the days of still shots of the entire wedding party looking directly at the camera, saying, “Cheese!” Now, wedding photography is part photojournalism and very artistic. Upshots of the happy couple on a balcony, a close-up of the shiny wedding rings, the gown hanging on a door, the mother of the bride misty-eyed as she places her knowing hand on her daughter’s shoulder, a quickly snapped shot of the attendants clapping with glee. This art form certainly isn’t cheap, but it’s well worth it. So parents and grandparents sometimes suffer sticker shock, thinking the photography should be less costly. But it can sometimes be just as much as catering. It all depends on what your priorities are when planning your wedding day. For us, photography and catering were most important.

We got quotes from tons of photographers. In every e-mail I sent out, I started it with, “My girlfriend and I are getting married.” If they didn’t respond, I knew immediately they wouldn’t be ideal for shooting our wedding. Others wrote back but were hesitant in their wording or something just wasn’t jibing. In my business, I’m familiar with so many photographers, and so I already knew of Our Labor of Love photography. But I didn’t think we could afford them at first. A husband-and-wife team, Jesse and Whitney Chamberlin moved to Atlanta from California about six years ago. They’re hip, fresh and really cool. Their photography is almost ethereal, as they’re quite the masters of light. Maria and I explored their Web site and were hooked. Once we saw that they’d recently photographed other lesbian weddings, we knew they would be kind to us. It only took one meeting to confirm this, so we booked them right away. Our engagement photo session took place one chilly afternoon in November all over Decatur, with an industrial background setting the stage for a modern-day romance. The Chamberlins were so good about putting us at ease, too.

One of the many challenges of being a gay couple is that Maria and I are always hypersensitive to being snubbed in public when we’re even remotely affectionate. So to have a straight couple encouraging us to hold each other and open up in front of them was liberating. And once we got our photos back, we knew they were going to knock it out of the park on our wedding day. SP

Read the third installment of “Brides and Prejudice” in the next LegalOut newsletter.

More about Kirsten Ott Palladino Covering a diverse array of topics ranging from travel, weddings, the GLBT community, art, fashion and beauty to food, wine, design and luxury living, Kirsten contributes to a myriad of publications, including Art & Antiques, The Atlantan Brides, ARTnews, Atlanta, Executive Traveler, Southern Voice, Steinway & Sons, Rolls-Royce Owners Club Desk Diary and The Sunday Paper. Kirsten believes that community is all about continuity. In addition to her benevolent service history at homeless shelters, soup kitchens and other outreach programs, Kirsten is committed to providing up-and-coming journalists and media specialists with an honest and trusted mentor. She is a frequent guest lecturer at her alma mater, Kennesaw State University. For more on Kirsten Ott Palladino, visit www.kirstenott.com

Vermont is one of five states that now allow same-sex couples to marry. Massachusetts, Connecticut, New Hampshire and Iowa are the others.

Read the 365gay featured news story Same-sex marriages begin in Vermont -
http://www.365gay.com/news/same-sex-marriages-begin-in-vermont/

Hooray for Ben & Jerry’s check out how they are celebrating marriage equality in Vermont:

In partnership with Freedom to Marry we are gathered here to celebrate Vermont and all the other great states where loving couples of all kinds are free to marry legally. We have ceremoniously dubbed our iconic flavor, Chubby Hubby to Hubby Hubby in support, and to raise awareness of the importance of marriage equality.
http://www.benjerry.com/hubbyhubby/

A great reason to eat some ice cream today!

President Obama discussed the importance of preparing a Living Will at an online forum on health care sponsored by AARP on July 28, 2009:

“The problem is right now most of us don’t give direction to our family members and so when we get really badly sick, sadly enough, nobody is there to make the decisions.

And then the doctor, who doesn’t know what you might have preferred, they’re making decisions, in consultation with your kids or your grandkids, and nobody knows what you would have preferred.

So I think the idea there is to simply make sure that a living will process is easier for people — it doesn’t require you to hire a lawyer or to take up a lot of time.

… But it’s actually a useful tool I think for a lot of families to make sure that if, heaven forbid, you contract a terminal illness, that you are somebody who is able to control this process in a dignified way that is true to your faith and true to how you think that end-of-life process should proceed.

You don’t want somebody else making those decisions for you. So I actually think it’s a good idea to have a living will . I’d encourage everybody to get one. I have one. Michelle has one. And we hope we don’t have to use it for a long time, but I think it’s something that is sensible.” (For full transcript visit the White House Briefing Room)

A Living Will (also known as an Advance Healthcare Directive or just Advance Directive) allows anyone to indicate their wishes concerning the withdrawal or withholding of life-sustaining procedures if they are in a terminal condition with no hope of recovery or are permanently unconscious.

Importance of a Living Will

• Give direction to your family members or partner - in case you get badly sick your family can make decisions based on your preferences in an difficult time.
• Achieve legal and emotional security that a legal document can provide in protecting your interests should something unexpected occur.

Create your Living Will - with our simple online interview.

LegalOut makes it easy to write your Living Will for a peace of mind - this do-it-yourself document is easy, fully customizable and inexpensive to complete.

Guest Blogger: LegalOut welcomes Independent Adoption Center (IAC) as a guest blogger to provide resources to LGBT families with their quest to adopt. IAC, founded in 1982, is a caring, open and supportive agency that understands the unique issues LGBT families face and has a long and proud tradition of working with gay and lesbian families in their pursuit to adopt.

LGBT families face some unique challenges when pursuing adoption. The biggest challenges are discriminatory laws and outdated, and unintentionally discriminatory, adoption agency practices.

Although adoption by LGBT families is outlawed in some states, and is difficult, though not illegal, in other states, in the vast majority of states LGBT adoptions are legal. The Independent Adoption Center (IAC) works with LGBT families to navigate the complexity of each state’s adoption laws to ensure that every adoption is done safely and legally.

The IAC is also committed to best practices in adoption, including practices that ensure the equal treatment of LGBT families. For example, a long standing practice at many adoption agencies is to ask birthparents if they are open to considering LGBT families before presenting family profiles.

This question implies that there would be some acceptable reason to consider excluding LGBT families.

The IAC has always taken the position that all families are equal and we do not ask birthparents if they are open to certain families. We assume they want to see all the families that are open to their situation so they can decide for themselves what is the best placement for their baby. As a result IAC has never had a longer wait time for LGBT families than for heterosexual families. In fact LGBT families have a shorter wait on average.

Although discriminatory laws are a problem in some states the IAC will work with LGBT families to ensure they adopt legally. We also are committed to ensuring best practices in adoption, and continually evaluate our program to ensure it serving all families equally.

Interested in learning more about adoption? Contact the IAC:  send an email or visit IAC Gay & Lesbians Families Web site.

Have an adoption question? Ask the Adoption Experts - Answers to All Your Adoption Questions.

Adoption Experts is a project by the Independent Adoption Center with the goal of spreading reliable information about domestic adoption, open adoption, and other adoption topics. Our experts have the answers to all your adoption questions. Ask your question now>>

Check out adoption stories written by some gay and lesbian families that have adopted through the IAC. Each of these families’ stories is as unique and incredible as the individuals who make up all of our open adoptive families. Read more>>

LegalOut Note:
If you are planning to start a family, in a long-term committed relationship, ensure your interests are followed should something unexpected occur.  Protect your wishes and family  by preparing legal documents. At minimum, any basic estate plan should include the following documents: Hospital Visitation Authorization, Living Will, Health Care Power of Attorney, Shared Parenting Agreement, Last Will and Testament, Power of Attorney. Protect yourself now - create legal documents.

Visit Legalout’s LGBT Issues section to learn more about adoption laws and terms.

Guest Blogger, Attorney, Paige Arden Stanley from the Law Office of Paige Arden Stanley L.L.C. and member of LegalOut’s attorney network, discusses the importance of creating legal documents:

I thought I’d share a recurring theme that I’m noticing in our busy society and with clients and potential clients.

We know we need to do something, but we wait. We defer making a decision.  Yes, we’re all guilty of it.

Why do we wait? Our reasons are different. It may be lack of time. It may be budget concerns. It may be not knowing exactly what we need. We don’t want to have the conversation. And, as individuals, we have so many demands placed upon us. We have to wear many different hats. There are only so many hours in the day. We live full lives and work in demanding jobs both inside and outside of the home.

We’re smart people. We know we really should:

• Update a will since a divorce ten years ago, or
• Create wills since we have been married and now have young children, or
• Have a Health Care Power of Attorney and Living Will in place so a domestic partner can carry out one’s wishes.

But, still, we wait. Really, are we waiting for something unpleasant to happen? Of course not.

Do we want our loved ones to have to guess during a time which is already fraught with emotion? Of course not.

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine who said that she realized that she and her husband had the exact opposite wishes regarding life sustaining measures each would want taken in the event something happened. She assumed they were in accord.  Without a discussion and a Health Care Power of Attorney and Living Will in place for each of them, she would never have known this.

Since none of us can predict what is going to happen or when, go ahead and take the step and get the process started to protect you and your family - prepare legal documents.

Paige Arden Stanley is a native of Atlanta, Georgia, and has been practicing law in the State of Georgia since 2003.  After several years practicing law at a major law firm in Midtown Atlanta, Paige has launched her own law practice, Law Office of Paige Arden Stanley, L.L.C., where she focuses on the areas of estate planning, including wills, trusts, powers of attorney, health care directives, and probate and estate administration. In addition, Paige handles business and family law matters as well as other areas in her general practice. Please contact Paige Arden Staney to inquire.

Serving Gays on the Net

New website helps prepare documents, find representation

July 2009 Issue
By Julie Kay

To read article from the ABA Journal Web site visit: Serving Gays on the Net

It was the 2004 election, and Lindalisa Severo was distressed. The Atlanta lawyer and gay rights activist was disturbed by the num­ber of anti-gay-marriage amendments on state ballots (including in her own state of Georgia) and thought other gays and lesbians were being systematically denied legal rights available to the general population.

So she got the idea to start an online service where the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community could turn to have legal documents pre­pared—everything from living wills to parenting agreements to powers of attorney.

Her idea was to have an easy and affordable way for gays and lesbians to fill out forms online without having to visit a lawyer. She realized that while same-sex couples in big cities may feel comfortable visiting lawyers, those in smaller, rural or conservative towns might not. She also wanted the service to be affordable.

After Severo teamed up with her brother, Internet guru Tony Severo, as well as online legal services provider RocketLawyer.com and other partners, she launched LegalOut this spring.

In addition to document preparation, LegalOut offers document storage and sharing, news blogs, links to petitions and other activist sites, and a referral network of lawyers sympathetic to LGBT causes.

The service costs $20 a month or $120 annually for unlimited document preparation, with the first document free.

“I felt like if they weren’t rec­ognized by the law, at least legal­ly same-sex couples could be tied togeth­er,” says Severo. “I’ve heard horror stories of one of the partners passing away and the family taking the house and leaving the other partner with nothing.

“If you’re not protected as an LGBT couple, you could really lose a lot.”

Even in states that don’t ban same-sex marriage, same-sex couples often lack the right to visit hospitalized partners, to make health care decisions for ill partners or to assume community property when partners die. They also may have no clear-cut separation or parenting-rights agreements.

LegalOut is one of several online legal documentation services that have sprung up in the last few years. Pink Legal offers similar services in the United Kingdom. RocketLawyer.com and Rainbow Law Center do so in the United States.

Many of the services, like Legal­Out, are state-specific: The online form asks which state you live in, then guides you to specific questions based on that state’s laws.

Jennifer Pizer, senior counsel for Lambda Legal in Los Angeles, says such services are needed, particularly in rural or conservative areas. “Law­yers often closet themselves and clients often closet themselves,” she says. Lambda Legal is a civil rights organization that represents gay causes in the courts.

Contrary to conventional wisdom, many LGBT individuals have lower incomes than those of heterosexuals. And the fact that LegalOut is affordable is par­ticularly vital, Pizer says.

While Pizer advocates permanent changes to anti-gay laws, she recommends individuals prepare legal documents in the short term to protect themselves.

“Everyone can have a will prepared, prepare a health-care advance directive and power of attorney papers,” she says. “The law refuses to recognize that we exist, so yes, there is an extra degree of need.”

For more:

A Congressional Budget Office study discusses 1,138 federal statutory provisions affected by marital status.

Note from Lindalisa Severo, LegalOut President:
“The LGBT community has always been fueled by grassroots efforts in conjunction with legal advocates. Although I am not a lawyer, as mentioned in the article, I was motivated by my commitment to the community and have benefited from the input from attorneys equally committed to enriching LegalOut with their expertise.”